published on 26.10.2025 in Journal ・

journal・old art

I deleted ~80% of the commissions/giftart/artttrades etc that I’ve done in the past 15 years. Kept the very sentimental ones I’ve done for friends or the ones I was particularly proud of.

It’s a far-cry from when my stepdad threw out my art without my consent. I’m actively deleting these. I’m not sad or upset over it. I’m completely indifferent to them being gone, like numb. It’s like I’m throwing away plastic wrapper-type indifferent.

Though anything from 2020-onwards I still have. I will actually archive these ones.

These days I draw for myself mostly, So just seeing a bunch of art that I’ve done for people I no longer interact with… Not sure what the emotion is, not anger, not hate, like nothingness, indifference. You know how when you have an insect on your skin, but you can’t quite get it off? Even though it would have been nice to keep them as an archive, they held no more sentimental value to me anymore, so they are gone. Forever. These were stuff I didn’t want to “look back on.”

Honestly, I don’t want any record of them existing, anyway.

I also don’t want to deal with people’s lectures about how I should save ALL my art. No, I shouldn’t. Who am I saving it for, exactly? Me? But I have no attachment to those drawings anymore, It’s not like I deleted it all, haha! Like I said, I kept the ones that held the most sentimental value to me, which are the ones I’ve done for close friends. Here are a few that I saved, not all of them: